


lips like tangerine

by princessmiakitten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmiakitten/pseuds/princessmiakitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there's beauty in silence of black and white, but he presumes there's more beauty in the sound of color.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lips like tangerine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [directorenno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/directorenno/gifts).



> this was purely self indulgent and i am sorry  
> here is the song it was based off of: [Coming Down](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRXO77hJGKA) by Halsey

there's a part of kaname that finds comfort in black and white.

it's a calm stillness that accompanies the muted white in his vision. it reminds him to take a deep breath, to take each day an hour at a time if that's what he needs to get through it. white keeps him at ease, keeps him at peace.

on the other hand, black is the mystery that keeps him up all throughout the night. it's the stark silence in his ears and the emptiness in front of his eyes as he stares straight above him while he lies on his bed. the darkness unravels him, and he whispers secrets into the night that vanish the moment they leave his lips.

it's the black and white that has kept him company, with areas of shaded gray.

every single night he prays the sun arrives, that he'll be able to see the beauty of the sunrise. he'll be able to see more than just the blended black and white. he'll be able to do more than just hear it in the chirping of birds outside his window or in the faint ringing of his parents' alarm in the next room.

there's beauty in silence of black and white, but he presumes there's more beauty in the sound of color.

kaname lies awake in his bed, watching the way black grows lighter with time. he's too fascinated to fall asleep, and he spends his days drained of energy. it's a choice he sometimes regrets, especially on days like today when he has a big milestone in his life, but it's a choice he makes every night without fail.

today, like any other day, he watches the sun rise from his bedroom window, his eyes weary but he couldn't force himself to fall asleep even if he wanted to. the date is marked on his calendar: the first day of the spring high tournaments. there's an aching in his bones and nausea in the pit of his stomach and he wishes he could even rest his eyes for a little bit.

kaname glances at his clock and sighs. it's now or never, and as much as he'd like to never do this, he has a duty to his team. he can't back out now-- not with everyone's faith resting on his shoulders. it's heavy, but he's determined to do his best. he's determined to take the team all the way.

the road to sendai city's gym seems a little bit nicer today, the sun on his skin just a little bit warmer. it makes it easier to breathe, but it makes his nervousness resound within him with every step. it's louder now, the sound of his heart thumping in his chest and he almost turns around and goes right back home.

but he doesn't. he can't.

it's a bright white that pulses before his eyes and for the first time in his sixteen years, it's not calming. it's not serene. it detaches him from the scene in front of him, of the members of the team waiting in front of the gym for him. he can't mess this up-- he can't let his team down. he has to carry on the dreams of the captains before him, striving to bring this team to the top.

how anyone ever thought he was equipped to handle this, he doesn't know. he doesn't understand.

he stands still, right in front of his team but he can't look at them. not yet.

kaname shifts eyes eyes to the side, to a group of people walking into the gym themselves with their shoulders back and their backs straight. he locks eyes with a stern looking boy, and looks away quickly, too afraid of staring.

the world gets brighter, still, and it takes a little bit of staring to realize that it's not white. it's something brighter than the white he's so used to seeing.

it makes kaname feel warmer, the jacket on his shoulders now deemed unnecessary as he takes it off. it's not white and there's more than just gray, and that puts him at ease.

it excites him.

he can feel a renewed energy coursing through his veins as he now looks at his teammates, almost all of them towering over him, but each and every single one looking at him with respect.

"i'd like to thank you all for being here, for coming here to fight with me until we become the top team." his voice sounds meek to his own ears, but at least it's not shaking as much as he thought it would. kaname's met with glowing smiles and sturdy pats against his back.

they enter the gym together, find their place amongst tens of teams, all vying for the same goal as them. everyone here wants to reach the top and he can't let his team down. he will take his team to the very top.

he'll show the world how strong the iron wall really is.

when they enter the gym, it is flooded with the same light color that he saw outside. the same vitalizing color that makes him warm and heats him up before their first match.

 _yellow_ , he hears kenji mumble to takanobu, and he remembers that they're able to see these colors too. they're mated, have been since the day they met at their freshman orientation. kaname says the name of the color to himself before his eyes scan the sidelines for the team with the square shoulders, the straight backs.

he finds them warming up on another court and immediately asks takanobu what color those jerseys were, of the team that walked with elegance and grace. the team that looked like royalty among commoners.

 _purple_ , he hears, and he finds that he likes that color a lot. it's where he wants to be, where he wants to take his team. he wants to take his team to where the purple is, to go head to head with royalty.

it's what drives him to win the first two matches on their first day, on his first day, and he can barely contain the happiness that bubbles within him.

he feels lighter than ever. there's no darkness weighing heavily on his heart now.

they're in the top sixteen teams and are close to being seeded for the interhigh the following school year, and it's already more than kaname had expected for himself. there's a rush that follows him home, that allows him to sleep in preparation for the next day.

he dreams in color, of purple jackets and yellow sunlight.

when kaname wakes, it's just before the sun rises, when the darkness of night starts to lighten, when black would usually blend into shades of gray. but it's not gray that paints his ceiling as he stares up at it.

it's not gray that he sees when he looks outside his window, at the sun coming up from the depths of the earth.

 _orange_ is the word, the color of the sky. it mixes with purple in the sky and white clouds, the gentle appearance making him feel joy that he can finally see the sun rise. he can feel the softness of the morning, the beauty that he's been longing to see.

the air in the morning is cool and light, filling his lungs with the scent of spring rain and he finally understands why birds chirp. they're excited about the dawn of a new day, and kaname can feel it, their excitement, welling up within his own body.

he can't stay in his room too long-- he wants to get out of his room, wants to experience the gentleness of the morning against his skin when he walks outside.

the orange melts into _blue_ as kaname walks to the station, and he feels a lot more refreshed than he did the day prior. he finds that it calms him, much like the way white had done, but it comes without the deafening silence.

blue sounds much more beautiful, like waves crashing upon the shore or the pitter patter of rain against his window. kaname can practically feel it splashing against his skin, and it makes his heart lighter as he heads towards the gym.

their first match of the day is against the purple team, the reigning champions for their region for some time. kaname couldn't help but laugh-- purple suited them. they were royalty, after all. it's all he could see in front of him as he stood in front of the stern faced boy from the day prior, and it clicks.

it's him.

only after kaname had seen him had he started seeing the beautiful colors of the wind, and he pulls his hand back as if he had been electrocuted. the other looked as if he wanted to say something, anything, but kaname couldn't hear him.

his soulmate is royalty, and he made a promise to knock them down.

it takes a fight between yasushi and kenji to break him out of his train of thought and he nods. this is who he's fighting for: his team. it is his duty to lead them far, even if it is against his own soulmate.

it shouldn't deter him.

but they lose both sets to royalty, and kaname wonders if it was just a pipe dream after all. he wasn't meant to be a leader, no matter what the others thought.

kaname doesn't look back at his soulmate as he walks off the court and into the locker rooms, no matter how much he wants to see him.

and he doesn't know how he can bring himself to face his soulmate, not when they're leagues away from each other. not when there's such a distance between them that he doesn't know how to overcome.

he can still see the way his soulmate led, the power behind every spike that left even their iron wall a pile of rubble to be ignored. he could never be that type of leader, that kind of captain that has a lot of promises but no way to bring them into fruition.

so he decides to forget that this happened, that he's met his soulmate, and carries on pretending like he isn't mated to someone. but he finds himself wondering if he would really give it all back for a chance to start over, if he would give up the beautiful color he'd longed to see for so long. if he could go back to a world of only black and white.

and kaname realizes that he cannot, could not, give it back up, no matter what sacrifices he had to make.

when he heads out of the gym, the sky is orange again, but it's tinged with darkness.

he doesn't see the stern faced man again for the next few weeks, but he certainly doesn't stop hearing about him. his soulmate is in magazines, in the chatter of excited kids who are coming home from their volleyball practice. they all want to be like him.

ushijima wakatoshi, the number one ace in their prefecture and third in the country.

kaname wonders if he should start trying to be more like his soulmate as well.

but datekou's strength is defense and he has his own captaining methods: focus on strengthening the core of the team while training the spikers to be more on the offense while also learning to be defensive.

his team is rowdy-- or, well, just two are-- but they're his team and his family. they're his own and he doesn't need to change them.

march goes by in a breeze and soon, kaname is a third year with new recruits to take care of, including a new libero first year who immediately makes it to the starting line.

their goal is clear. strengthen the iron wall so that no one can infiltrate it. defense.

april brings about more colors swirling around him, in the pinks of the flower petals falling with even the gentlest breeze and the vibrant _green_ of the grass wet with morning dew. spring had always been his favorite season, even when it was just in black and white. spring always brought about a sense of freshness, of new beginnings.

it's in spring that he comes face to face with his soulmate again, standing outside of his school fence with a handful of purple tulips and his head cast down, staring at the ground. he doesn't notice the people walking around him carefully, not sure what to do about the ridiculously tall man just standing in front of the gates.

kaname's tempted to ignore him, to keep on walking. but he can't do that, he doesn't have the strength to walk away and he can't lie; he's curious about his soulmate. he wonders briefly if he'll have the same bond with his soulmate that kenji and takanobu share: one that doesn't require constant communication in order to work seamlessly. it's as if they're so aware of each other that they will just know what each other needs.

it would be nice to have a bond like that, kaname muses.

he takes a deep breath and walks on over to the tall man, and for the first time it registers how tall he really is compared to kaname. of course, kaname is regarded as petite for his age, but he doesn't really complain about that too much with kousuke around.

wakatoshi's eyes are green. they are the same shade as the forest by kaname's house, where he escapes when things are too much. too overwhelming. it brings him peace, being surrounded by nature, and he can feel the same looking into the other's eyes.

"i didn't know the proper way of doing this." wakatoshi starts and his voice is a deep rumble in his chest that makes kaname think of the sound of rolling thunder before a spring storm. "but i was told that flowers are always acceptable. i apologize for taking so long to come find you."

kaname accepts the flowers, of course, and takes in the deep, clean scent of them. they're the color of wakatoshi's jersey, of a place where no one who isn't royal can stand but somehow, kaname's been dragged into that world.

"there's no need to apologize. it takes two to tango, after all, and i didn't seek you out either. i guess i was just afraid." kaname laughs nervously and adjusts the strap of his bag hanging from his shoulder. "so...i guess we're mated..."

everything about the situation is awkward-- including both parties involved.

"i suppose so."

"would you like to get a drink to...talk this out?" kaname suggests, and he can feel his hands shaking. he himself doesn't even know if he wants to be with his soulmate, or what it would be like with his soulmate, but he also doesn't know if his soulmate wants to be with him. he's full of such uncertainty, and he realizes he's been tossed into murky waters.

wakatoshi nods and kaname can see the apprehension in his otherwise guarded eyes, and he remembers he's not alone in this.

they walk in silence to the local coffee shop, wedging between students from his school that are too weary but need an extra caffeine boost for their latest projects and designs. he remembers what it's like to be a first year with so many new things going on like learning new tricks of the trade and wanting to be the very best.

it's that kind of thinking that wears them all down their first year, and by their second, they're pros at handling anything that comes their way.

kaname passes by kenji and takanobu on his mission to find a table, and his eyes dart from them to wakatoshi and back. before he can mouth anything to them, takanobu is already holding kenji back from coming over to them and saying something, and for that, kaname is eternally thankful.

he finds a spot in the back, far enough away that the loud chatter of high school kids won't be too bad and they can hear each other without having to yell. kaname is not usually one to raise his voice outside of practice, and he doesn't know if wakatoshi would appreciate it too much.

"so, what'll you have? my treat." kaname twiddles his thumbs as he looks at the wooden table in front of him, noting the different drawings etched into it.

"i'm not much of a coffee drinker, but if they have tea. chamomile would be fine." a man after his own heart. of course, kaname is very much a coffee drinker-- he wouldn't have survived until his third year without it-- but he loves chamomile tea more than any drink in the world. he nods and stands to go order, .and he should've expected kenji to get up and follow him over.

"what are you doing with shiratorizawa's captain, senpai? are you guys on a date? you're wearing that on a date?" kenji gives kaname's uniform a pointed look, and he can't help but snort in amusement.

"aren't you and aone on a date? you both are wearing your uniforms."

"that's different! we go to the same school and he is my mate so it doesn't really matter what he sees me in. he's stuck with me anyway." kenji's eyes widen by the end of his speech and kaname looks away from his face. "are you guys mates? you met your mate and you didn't tell us? i feel betrayed, senpai. i thought i was your best friend."

"well, yasushi is my best friend, actually--"

"kamasaki-senpai doesn't count!"

kaname thanks the barista the moment his drinks come out so he can say goodbye to the now grumpy kenji, but kaname can't say that he's not glad for that conversation. he's relaxed now, in a brighter mood as he sits across from wakatoshi.

"the sun." wakatoshi mumbles beneath his breath.

"i'm sorry?"

"your smile. it's like the sun. it's warm and brilliant." wakatoshi is so direct that it takes kaname aback, but he goes warm, a rosy pink blush rising to his cheeks. he's never been told that before, that his smile is like the sun, but it makes him smile wider. to him, the sun is something out of reach and unattainable, beautiful from afar and very powerful.

it's a source of life.

"i don't know if it can be compared to the sun, but thank you very much." kaname takes a sip of his tea, inhales the sweet scent of it. "so, we're soulmates. i believe we should talk about what we each want and what we can do to see eye to eye."

"a compromise."

"i guess. would you like to go first?"

"i'd like to make this work." wakatoshi stares right at kaname, and he can't think properly. he definitely wasn't expecting that out of all things, and kaname stutters a little bit while trying to formulate a proper reply.

"make this work? as in...like, working on a relationship?" kaname's never been in a relationship before, and so he's afraid of messing up, of not doing enough or doing too much. wakatoshi nods and kaname chews on his bottom lip.

but he doesn't find himself saying no. he doesn't not want to get to know his soulmate, to have a special connection with someone, and especially with the one person with whom he's supposed to connect. so he agrees, his face burning.

the silence that follows isn't as uncomfortable as it was before, and kaname uses the time to reflect on his own thoughts. of course, he'd like to get to know his soulmate. kaname gazes at him, at the broad shoulders and sharp features that cut like glass and he wonders how he got mated to him. wakatoshi is everything kaname isn't: tall, blunt, with a fire burning in him that won't extinguish.

kaname is the very opposite: meek, small, with the ability to give up when things just aren't working.

but there's something in him, kaname can feel it, that connects them. loyalty, perhaps. or the overbearing attachment to nature that controls them both, like vines intertwined with one another.

green eyes like the canopies of trees to protect the animals underneath from the sun's glare.

a smile as bright as the sun with the ability to nurture anyone and warm everything with which it comes into contact.

kaname takes a flower from the bouquet and hands it to wakatoshi.

they soon leave the coffee shop, and the sun is starting to set in the sky, coloring it pink and orange and _red_. red like passion and like fire, like the fire burning in wakatoshi or the blush on kaname's cheeks as they walk to kaname's house side by side.

their hands graze against each other until kaname gets the courage to slip his small hand into wakatoshi's larger one, fingers interlocking.

wakatoshi is warm, too. his fingers are calloused, probably from playing so much volleyball, but they're nice against kaname's own skin, slightly bruised from working on projects. it's hard for him to let go when they reach his house, but he makes sure wakatoshi doesn't leave without a number.

 

\---

 

the next few months are busy for them, with the interhigh coming up and each of them being the captains of their respective teams. their relationship has been reduced to messages and the occasional coffee date, but it's comfortable between them.

they're comfortable.

and that's really all kaname could've hoped for with a soulmate. that their relationship is natural.

the morning of the interhigh is one full of energy, with kenji yelling as soon as kaname makes his way over to the team in front of sendai city's gym. kaname, of course, doesn't pay too much attention to the words, letting takanobu take over the duty of keeping kenji in check as kaname looks around for wakatoshi.

the purple is vibrant, and he gets the same regal feeling from them as he did the tournament prior. his eyes meet wakatoshi's and there's a ghost of a smile on those lips that makes kaname smile back, his own wide and dazzling.

love is like sunshine, he thinks. it makes him feel warm from the inside and it gives him the energy he needs to get through the day, like a flower getting nourishment from the sun.

they don't stop, though, and kaname leads his team inside as well. shiratorizawa, being the top team in the prefecture, doesn't play until later today, and kaname wonders what it would be like to play against them now, after everything has changed.

there's a need to win that fuels kaname at the thought.

they win their first match easily, but it's karasuno that puts up more of a fight. it's the same team they had won against during kaname's first spring high, but they're different now. stronger.

kaname has faith in their iron wall, though. he has faith in his team and that they'll be able to take on any opponent. he refuses to lose against anyone except shiratorizawa, and even then he wants to see the view from the top.

karasuno, however, has turned into a completely different beast than the one he faced only months prior, and he finds himself staring at the scoreboard in shock. it's not that he's angry or upset. he's just disappointed.

he couldn't even take his team to semi-finals before retiring.

he's disappointed with himself for not trying harder, for not being a better captain, for not being enough.

of course, wakatoshi later comforts him over the phone. it's not his fault. it's not his fault.

when he hangs up, kaname is left in darkness.

shiratorizawa goes to nationals again, and kaname isn't at all surprised. this time, he tags along on the trip to tokyo, to watch the match for himself. everything about wakatoshi is beautiful, he realizes as he watches his soulmate spike the ball down on the opponent's court.

there is power in wakatoshi that's unmatched by almost every single team.

kaname's genuinely surprised when shiratorizawa doesn't win, but he's proud of his soulmate nonetheless. wakatoshi is strong, determined.

kaname isn't afraid of being in the fire anymore. he'd rather burn with wakatoshi.

they travel back home in silence, with kaname on the bus with them back to miyagi. by the time they get home, it is the early hours of the morning, the sky not pitch black, but the first tendrils of color starting to sneak in.

wakatoshi doesn't go home, but instead they sneak into kaname's room and sit by the window. his arms are around kaname, and he can't help but feel secure in wakatoshi's arms. he's safe, protected.

there's light sneaking into kaname's room, pressing against the floorboards and walls as the sun starts to rise, bringing with it colors that swirl together like the way they're wrapped in each other.

wakatoshi presses his lips against kaname's and makes the sun stop rising, enveloping kaname in the darkness behind his eyelids as they kiss.

he's warm from the sun, from wakatoshi.


End file.
